Friday, April 30, 2010

i dun understand my being me!!

i dun noe wat am i supposed to post in here as i feel down, tired and lone from the inside. its not easy being me... some people said that i am being too nice to others that people will scared to treat me like other friends where they can be more open and be themselves.. some said that i am being to good that people can step in me and stab me from behind without me knwing it... other might say that i am a pathetic individu as i dun have a gf after 22 years of living in this whole wide world... they do think that i am being choosy... duh... even if i sell myself for free no one would even look at me haha.. some said that i am an idiot. cz i easily get cheated and bullied... sometime i should stand still and be strong... some say that i am pathetic.... for not be able to be as good as others and cannot accomplish sumting more like others do...
but the most obvious thing people said to me until now is GERALD = ACADEMIC.... m not like that u fucking bastard!!!!. m just a guy with normal life want to do everything he can as best as he can do... why with certain excellence i am tagged with that fucking label.... because of that label.. i cannot fit it well with those who have avarage and low academic performance... plese give me back my life... i want to mixed around.. i want to be with everyboy.. i want to discussed everything and want to friends... i tried but u guys are not giving me room to grow.... if i say sumting u guys played me by sayaing "gerald... pandai nya ..." " gerald ko mmg pandai" " gerald aku x layak la nak ckp pasal hal ni,... ko kan lagi pandai.... n so on... wat the fuck is that??? stop it u fucking moron..., i tried but u guys insult me.... please.... u make me abnormal.... bodoh nya.... kalo org buat kau mcm ni..... aku jamin ko terus panas... this happens not recently but since i was in secondary school.... mcm hidup ku jadi bodoh ja jadi seorng yang pernah dapat 5 a 7 a and 8 a n layak ke matrik n university and dapat dekan n jadi pembahas BI UPM...... life sucks dowh....
dat is why i try to be an idiot like make stupid stuff and do stupid things... it make me feel much more alive.. but bila aku buat hal bongok pun kena maki n perli jg.... mcm mistake pula aku hidup kot... PANASSSS!!!
bukan apa .... i just want to be with u.. all of u.... i want to have fun i wnt to be honest and i want to part of u if i can... cz i love each and everyone of u... being part of social community is me.... money, time is another story but being together is the precious thing that reminds of of love and happiness,....

welll.... soryy for the language and emo... not entirely in a good condition now... nid someone to tell but no one is around that i can trust at the moment... god bless us all... take care..


  1. love u as who u r...dont bother whether u have gf or not...sumtimes being single will make u more happier n enjoy..n the most important thing is...dont listen what people said around u...gbu

  2. I understand wat u feel...used to be in your shoes...but I hope u r ok by now...God bless!

  3. hi there~ :)
    its been..3years after matrix kan... ya ka u like that? i truly understand ur feeling..huhu
    jadi la diri sendiri. kalau diri kita suda macam tu, jgn biarkan diri terpengaruh dgn persekitaran. unless it was a good influence.. heh. if they takut mau tegur u or what so ever, ba..ko pula ajar durg wat u know.sama2 jd pandai..ntah pa sa ckp suda ni.ciao dlu~ xp

  4. hey gerald...miss u bro... it doens't suck reading watever u post..its nice knowin wat u happens to me as well..don wori..we all accept u as who u are..u are just the ultimate gerald tat we love being around with..funny nonsence crap simple smart..tats u bro..n we love u bcoz u r just u^^ Lots of Love, J

  5. hey i'm the opposite of u. i'm the stupidest and naive among others. they treat me like shit too...haha